I begin every 4th of July post by saying how much I can’t believe that yet again another year has passed. It really is true what they say; that as you get older time goes faster and faster. I’m 32 now and it really doesn’t seem that long ago that I was 16. I’m sure when I’m 48 I’ll look back and be shocked at how fast the time has gone.
NOTE TO SELF: Let me know what life is like at 48 (come back here and edit this paragraph
As you may already know, I update this blog every 4th of July and have since 2006 when I first launched it. I used to write a lot of posts when I first built it, but haven’t really written too much since early 2007. I did manage to get on a TV show starring the much-awesome Chris Powell who helped me lose 255 pounds in on year.
That year (2010-2011) was truly a great year and it brought me many readers to this site. I am honored that I was part of that experience. My episode actually aired almost 2 years to the day from today.
And what a 2 years it has been! Lots of ups and downs, many which were chronicle in last years post.
For this year I want to focus on what I’m thankful for first.
What I’m Thankful For
1) I am thankful that this year (on April 26, 2014) I got married to the love of my life, Rebecca. We had a beautiful wedding in Palm Harbor, Florida with our close friends and family. It was an incredible day and she was stunning in her white dress.
2) I’m thankful God sent her my way and I’m grateful she fell in love with the real me. Even though I was struggling again with my weight she never judged me. She has been a support for me and called me out when needed, but she has been my rock through some of my darkest moments.
3) I am thankful for my business, which has provided me with a wonderful income for the last several years. Even though we went through a rough patch, we are back on track and looking to accomplish big things this year and next.
4) I am thankful that Rebecca and I are buying our first house in just a matter of days. We are closing on our dream home in Trinity, FL on July 9th, 2014… just 5 days from now. I’ve never understood it, but for some reason July is an incredible time of year for me. I started this blog on July 4th. I wen tot final casting in July. I got skin removal surgery in the beginning of July. My episode aired in July. Rebecca and I became “official” in July. And now, I am closing on my first home in July. Maybe that’s also why I love Independence Day so much!
5) I am thankful for my Mom, my sister, my brother, and my entire family for loving me through thick and thin… no matter what. I am so blessed to have the family that I have.
Now, time to talk about what I have been putting off. My food addiction has officially taken me over again. I am afraid to get on the scale to see the numbers. I know I will NOT be happy. I am getting back to where I was before the show. I feel sometimes like it was all in vain, but I know it wasn’t.
I know that God has a plan for me, but I think I fell off that plan the last year as far as my weight goes. I know what I have to do, which is to give my addiction back over to Him and let it all go. I need to make the right choices and do the right things. It’s very painful for me to write this, but the real culprit is me. I once again took over thinking I could “control” my behavior, when it’s so obvious that I can’t.
In just the past few weeks I have been thinking about returning to OA (www.OA.org) and confessing to my shortcomings, but I’ve been putting it off. Finally, I can put it off no longer. I am going back this Tuesday.
I know that I need to get back on track first and foremost for me and my health. Then, for everyone else.I do not want to let this addiction control me any longer. I have goals to accomplish and books to write and people to inspire. If you’re reading this please do me a favor and pray for me throughout the year as you think about it.
It does my heart well to know there are people out there praying.
I am a very strong person and with God’s help I can accomplish anything. He is my source and I need to once again turn this area of “food” over to Him. And I am doing that now.
To all of the people who have written me over the past 2 years… thank you so much! I don’t usually write back because I am so busy but I want you to know I read what you say and it means the world to me. Whether you are writing to encourage me or share you story or just say hi, it is very precious to me.
Thank you all so much and may God bless you. Maybe this year I’ll post a little bit more giving updates on my journey.